It's so hard to forgive someone who has done something wrong to you. It's even harder to forgive people when you know that they are simply not regretful or apologetic for how they have wronged you. But what we must all understand is simply this," If you do not forgive others, then our Heavenly Father will not forgive you". For a long time, I would be so hurt by what someone had done to me that I wanted to hold on to the anger that I held inside. I held onto it so tightly that I began to call it "righteous anger". As strange as it sounds, I was completely content with holding on to unforgiveness. I absolutely wanted this anger to rock me to sleep at night, each night. I felt that as long as I was unforgiving to them, then I would have that specific hold on them. I would think, "They know I am mad at them. So, they are going to leave me alone now. They are going to be nicer to me now". I actually thought that that was how the process of being unforgiving works. How ironic was it for me to actually feel that I had power over this individual because I hadn't forgiven them? When, in reality, they actually had power over me! They had this certain power over me because they were still getting satisfaction from me. They still held a piece of me! They were still able to alter my mood and my day, because I was so busy being angry with them, that I couldn't even focus on what I was supposed to be doing for that day. And because I was so angry at them, I was unable to be happy for the whole day. How apparent was it that the very act of unforgiveness towards someone was simply a trap from the enemy that would allow me to set up-within myself-a wall of bitterness, resentment, and anger? It was a ploy of the enemy to harden my heart against the teachings of Christ. In doing so, I would be replacing what God was trying to instill within me (love, joy, peace, etc.) for the journey that I am on.
I was more concerned with trying to watch them squirm because of my anger and unforgiveness, rather than, just forgiving them and walking in peace and joy-giving their behavior and their wrongdoing to God. Had I been in a more intimate relationship with God, I would have known just how backwards I had the concept of forgiveness. I would have then understood that forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is for me! I would have also realized then that "if I did not forgive anyone else, then God would no longer forgive me". That very truth scared me! I know that I am trying to live for Christ; but, there have been many times where I have came up short. So, I knew that without the forgiveness of God-for my shortcomings-I would definitely be lost forever! It was simply a much too costly lesson to learn! Forgiveness is for me! It frees me from the burden of holding on to offenses and grudges that I should have never taken on as my own. And just as true forgiveness gives me such freedom, it was also intended to give everybody else that same freedom! The fact that I could be set completely free from anything that held me down was quite enough for me to truly choose to forgive. I also learned that in becoming more forgiving to others, I became more cheerful, more loving, and more peaceful! And to me, peace is absolutely priceless! And to be able to walk in peace-as long as i continued to choose peace-was even more priceless!
Once I realized how important peace was to my body and to my mind, I began chasing it more than I chased anything else. I began pursuing it at all costs! I never wanted to be bound by the effects of unforgiveness again! I also realized that if I had wronged someone, then I would want to be forgiven too.
So, if there is someone reading this blog, and wondering if it really matters if you forgive an individual or not, as well as, if it is even worth it to do so, I would definitely tell you-it most certainly is! There is absolute power and freedom in forgiveness! Life gets hard enough day to day. Why not make it easier on yourself by simply walking in peace, joy, and love through the act of forgiveness? Why not truly cast all of your cares on the Lord, allowing Him to fight your battles-giving Him the control to deal with those who have wronged you? He loves you and created you. Surely, He knows how to take care of you!
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