Once I began to chase God more than anything else,I saw a shift in my world. Although problems still seemed to find me, my mindset was changed, my perspective was changed. It was as though, I truly became a new creature, in the current life I was still living. But,my reaction toward these negative experiences had changed! I had become more peaceful, more positive. Before I realized the importance of becoming so desperate for Him, it seemed that I could never find lasting joy. Of course, I had episodes of happiness when things went right. But it was always temporary. And when things went wrong, I would have numerous episodes of depression that followed. And then, I would hit the same high and low cycle all over again! And my thoughts would start roaming in an absolute dark direction!
But, I found out there was an easier way, a better way! When I was tired of this same cycle, I began to think about my days a a child, and growing up in church. And I began to ask God, to give me, what He had given all of those women and men of God during that time! I wanted to fill joyous and peaceful, regardless of what season I found myself in! I wanted to feel joy and peace, even when things did not go my way and turned out really badly! I wanted to truly experience God for myself! And He gave me exactly what I asked for! But, the answer never came, as long as I was willing to stay in the state that I was in. As long as I was okay with periods of happiness that were temporary, and sadness and depression that lingered for long periods of time, I could not become desperate for Him! But, the minute I became tired of the same detrimental cycle that I was in, I became so desperate for Him! I realized that He never wanted that life for me! I realized that I had actually chosen that life for myself! So today, I encourage anybody, don't get trapped in a detrimental cycle because you don't know anything else, or because you are afraid to ask God to show you the way! He wants to show you the way, but you have to ask! He is waiting to hear from you! And He is not surprised by you! Talk to Him and listen to Him!
"Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again;but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)
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